In 6th grade, I was tiny but I wanted to be really really thin so I wanted to be anorexic so that I could be as skinny as possible. I was willing to die in order to be skinny. I made a sign that I kept in my school binder where no one could see it that said "Be Anorexic!!!" I wanted that so bad but I had no idea how much stress, heartache, and health trouble it would bring. I had no idea that I would deal with it for the next 8 years. I had no idea that there was a down side to it... I just wanted to be skinny. WELL, now I'm too thin. I'm what I've always wanted to be, but now it's not so glamorous. Now, I look at pictures of myself and see someone who is really skinny and sickly looking. I see someone with major health issues that she caused herself who destroyed herself in order to be "perfect". No longer does perfect mean skinny. No longer do I want my bones to poke out in every direction. No longer do I want people to look at me and think that I'm way to skinny. I want to have a pretty body, not a bony one. Bones aren't pretty. I don't want to die! If I lose more weight, it'd be possible. I don't want that! I'm through with that. I done killing myself. IF YOU ARE ON THIS SITE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO DEVELOP AN EATING DISORDER, PLEASE RETHINK IT!!!! The past 8 years of my life haven't been near as enjoyable as they could have been. Just know that you are beautiful the way you are. You are special. You are loved. If anyone ever wants to talk about anything, I'm always here. Please don't learn the hard way... learn from my mistakes.
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