Yep! You are totally right (in my opinion) to think of yourself as a separate being because you are.... You are not an eating disorder! It's really good that you have the strength to fight this because it is a long hard battle! Take every advantage you can with your therapists help as well as here on D.S. Have you ever thought of joining an O.A. group? They can be really helpful too and you will have supporters who know exactly what you have to live through everyday. Good luck with your fight. You can do it :)

I personify my ED as something seperate from me. I should not and will not ever be forced into believing that this is all I can be- an eating disorder with no face, no mouth, no voice. And I know that I am not just my eating disorder- I am a wife, a friend, a child, a sister, etc. I am a student and a French enthusiast and a lover of books when and if I can read them. So yes, my ED is outside of my body, like a dissociative episode I suppose.

You're not alone in the thought, love. An example: Read "Life Without Ed." You'll see what I mean.

I absolutley know what your talking about. I named my other person "ED" or "Monster". Ed comes out to tell me when I have failed and why I dont deserve food. Ed tells me often that I am fat, and ugly and I should restrict because I will feel thin and pretty. This is the moster the destroys my heart, my life. LUCKILY.... I have leared to distinguish what is me, and what is "the monster". When he talks to me, I have learned to disagree, and disobey! Here is my example. Ed says "sarah you look fat in those jeans, and you should not wear them." First... I learned to disagree, but I would still listen to him. I would says "I dont look fat in these jeans, but fine, i wont wear them. NOW.... I have learned to disagree and disobey! My response would be more like this "I dont not look fat in these jeans, and I will wear these jeans today!"

You have to learn to identify where "ed" is trying to get his foot in the door. (EVERYWHERE) once you can identify, you can overcome!

I would recomend a really good book called "Life Without Ed" By Jenni Schaefer & Thom Rutledge. It might encourage you.

Its really beneficial to recognize that you and Ed are two different people! Nice work.

Dont let ed, the ugly monster steal your joy, courage and strength. You can learn to disagee and disobey!

Best of luck.

yeah! I find myself like ordering weight gain powder, or setting myself targets to lose so much weight in two weeks or whatever, and then it's like I snap out of it, and it scares me, is it like some for of a multiple personality didorder?
xxx

I sure do, mines a guy I call coach. The kind of coach that yells and screams, abuses and taunts until you get it right.

Hey Coop, we were right on the same lines there. Rock it.

Loates, I'm more like you with a female personification. I see her with dark eyes (vacuous) and with a grim mugshot. A "nasty woman" would be pretty much spot on. ;)

I do it too.

However, do you feel that personifying your ED as a separate entity is a way of detaching yourself, and therefore gives it power over you?

I think that's what I'm scared of. If I make my ED very much a separate thing (which in a sense it's not) then does it become more powerful...? I know it does help me to identify the bits that are destructive though and that's definitely a helpful thing.

Same... I often call my binge eater "my inner pig"... not very nice and it's absolutely horrble for the self-esteem. It seems to be this other side of me which comes out whenever food is around and completely posseses me so I cannot control myself.