Not sure even where to start, yesterday, last month, last year, two years ago, 4 years ago... It never ends! First I was simply limiting my calories to 600-800 a day and exercising all the time. Then last year I tried the old ninge and purge and then a few times last summer and now it's an every day thing. Limit calories, exercise and binge and purge. I am a 29 year ole who should know better than this. This is no way to love and my husband and family are sick of it. I can't even go to a holiday meal they prepare as I have to bring my "safe foods" and when I am forced to "eat normal" I lose all sense of control and have panic attacks. I feel terrible that I am doing this to them and I can't stop. I have thoughts all day about calories and nothing passes my lips without writing it down and if now if I decide to even have a diet cookie or treat I find it has to come right back up again or I will lose my mind. I never thought I would do this to myself.
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