i was with this boy for 2 years he left to go for an exchange program for 4 months at the beginning of last year - we stayed together and i was faithful and waited here for him - while he was gone he cheated on me and when i found out he said she was everything he wanted and that i am broken and he only stayed with me because he felt guilty that he was part the reason i had this obsession with being thin made me good enough and felt like he had to look after me!! he said it was all my fault! i see today he has been away in germany on facebook/ myspace again to see this girl and now his status has changed to engaged! now i am very happy with my boyfriend now he is wonderful and i have done way better to have this new guy BUT it still stings and its put huge fear into me that i will end up doing the same with this guy pushing him away and destroying myself and the relationship in the process with ED - i dont want to loose this guy and i dont want to hurt like i did last time knowing it was my fault :( im scared i will end up alone just me and ED because nobody can put up with an irrational idiot for to long you forget why your sticking around i guess - i scared i cant fix me quick enough to not ruin everything ...i hate that my ex still gets to me but more than that i just am so worried im going to destroy this potentially great thing i have here now.
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