*TW* Negative & Not Recovery Minded
so i have hestitated to post this here,i so don't want to trigger anyone..
i'm really not doing well.i am still restricitng and losing weight.i know from experience how dangerous this is,but i can't seem to stop.
my boyfriend can't take it,and i don't know if i have lost him..he hasn't called in a few days.
"I don't know.If you keep worrying about your weight,i don't know that i can keep calling you.fine,lose the weight,but you're going to have to work out."???? ( i already posted this on the PTSD board )
i have never once brought up my weight to him,nor my fear of gaining...he just asks me how much i weigh,tells me he "Kind of wouldn't like it if i lost weight"
My body has never felt like my own unless i am starving it....it always belonged to the ballet school,and then to boyfriends.i've explored this in therapy a bit....and the fact that my ED is very closely tied in with my severe OCD.
i'm scared,but i don't know that i can stop.
i'm so sorry for this post,i hope i didn't upset anyone...you are all so wonderful and encouraging of one another,and i...just feel like i'm in a different headspace right now,i'm sorry.
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