I have been all over the internet trying to find a forum or a group, something that might link me to others that are understanding of the problems I deal with. I'm not saying I'm special or deserve extra attention, just some kind of commonality with people other then my mom and my boyfriend. I have lost all of my friends because I never go out or I am often away (in the hospital). I have never felt as lonely as I do at the point. I realize that my friends couldn't watch me kill myself and I understand why we don't speak anymore. What I don't understand is why every ED forum is a full of people that don't seem to care or except new people. You only seem to get attention if you take photos of how skinny you are. I have no desire to plaster photos of my horrific body online. I don't mean to come across like a mean person I think I'm just really angry. There are times when I am in a room with my mother and boyfriend and see how they look at me and all I want to do is give up. I hate hurting them, I am trying so hard. I just want to have some others to talk to every now and then who understand how life gets when you have become your illness. I'm lonely, scared, but completely willing to be a friend to someone. What do I do? I can't stay friend with people from the hospital, having an ED is totally glorified online? I hope this place is different, all I want is to talk sometimes, I am sick of feeling alone.