just read one of the news things on here and i got a reality check. it was about ed health. or should i say lack thereof. that no matter what the person looks like they can be 24 hrs away from death or whether they only puke 1x a wk or whatever. i am afraid a lot i won't wake up the next day. i haven't puked in a wk. the last time was last thurs at which point was 5 x in a row because i let my asshole father upset me. i just hope it is not too late for me. i want to live to see my kids grow old and have babies and i want to be a writer. my father says that is not a substantial living but fuck him. so i know i have a appt the 9th w/ a therapist but tomorrow i am gonna make one w/ my doc for an ed physical. i am scared to death. god help me i am crying
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