I think my eating disorder- I say I have one when I am thinking ratioanlly and am not trying to minimize the problem, as it's hard to admit since I am no where neraly to the serious point I used to be, but I guess it doesn't really matter. It's how I feel NOW, and now is starting to feel worse and worse. I have very little energy, feel weak, and my body is starting to show symptoms so much faster than it used to, as I've been at this for 24 years. They say my body can't handle much more. I'm not extremely low right now, but the thought of increasing calories and gaining weight at all terrifies me, but I know this is probably what I should do. I just can't seem to do it. I would feel like I was losing all control, although I know the ED, at this point has control over me. I can't do the things I could, even this past summer. I think I have fallen into a depression, and I just don't know where all the fun and laughter, and, well, my life has gone. I am working hard in therapy, but the light at the end of tunnel is getting dimmer and dimmer, and I don't know how to get the brightness back. I just don't know where to turn or what to do at this point. I've been praying. I hope God sends me some guidance. I need it. I just thought I would throw all this out there, since I am really struggling. I thank you all for reading...
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