Hiya everyone. I have not been here for ages and ages and have been doing so very very well. Went away for xmas and ate fantastically well. My rib cage could no longer been seen and I did not look like death warmed up. Thing now being I absolutely hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the fact that I have put on weight. I hate the fact that my size 8 (UK size) jeans feel a little tight etc etc etc. I can barely stand to touch my stomach when washing as I just feel as if I have a lump of pure fat in my hands. Since Monday everything I eat I have to force myself to keep down and not disappear to the toilet. Yes I am still continuing to eat but I feel as if I am betraying myself. I now have in my mind go go back on one of my hardly eating phases but I know it will be so wrong to do this but I just cannot stand the way I look. Everyone says I look great and miles better but I still hate it. How can I stop myself from falling again! Hugs to everyone.
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