I feel like I want to throw myself into getting involved with awareness, prevention, and doing my part in seeing that the Eating Disorders Dream Bill will be passed. I feel strong and passionate in these feelings and thoughts of going through with this, but then I feel brought down by negative reminders of how much I want to ignore all recovery websites and get sucked into the obsession once again. I feel like I'm craving the obsession more than recovery, yet I want to help so badly due to selfishness of not being able to afford treatment myself. I feel so guilty for feeling these feelings and thinking these thoughts, and I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.
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