It has been a long time since I have been here last, Well I guess in normal time it isnt that long, but in the world of ED much can happen. When I was here last I had been purge free for 2 months. Now I starve myself all day, then binge what I eat at night. I take half a pack of diet pills a day, and do drugs on weekends to help loose, and to forget. I have droped 10kg (about 22 pounds) since New Years, and tonight I started bringing up black gunk that looks like skin. This is what we do to ourselves for "Beauty". Seriously WTF? We know it isnt making us look amazing. I am starting to get blood spots on my body, random bruises, darker facial hair, acne, My job is on the line, my lack of effort to keep my unit clean (cos lets face it weighing myself is far more important) means I may be getting evicted. This is not living. I have even started throwing up blood. How do I get my life back...
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...