Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I dont know how much more I can take.
My parents just DONT understand.
They keep calling me a bag of bones and smile. If I turn the heating on they have ago at me. My mum makes food she knows I dont consider to be safe. They are doing on purpose just to hurt me, otherwise why else would they do it.
Im thinking about running away. Im due to go into a clinic so Could just go and not tell them. They dont want me to go there, why would a parent not want there sick daughter to get help? Its not normal.
And no I cant talk to them, and Im not even going to consider it either. They have too many problems of their own at the moment and me im just making them worse.
My poor little brother though, I cant leave him even to go into a hospital, I feel so bad.
I feel bad now, have so many bad feelings and thoughts I just want them to go.
My mum thinks I am getting better *laughs* she even told my doctor, so now I bet he is going to not help me anymore because he thinks I am better. But im not immfar from it, in fact worse, I never use to exercise before, but now always am running, moving about, etc. I restrict a lot more than I use to, and If I do it It will come straight back up unless its something that is safe. Like for dinner today I just had salad so that was ok, as there are not a lot of kcals in that, so today has been ok I guess, just salad and a sandwich. But still. Im so annoyed and confused, and scared, and urgh.
I dont know what to do :(
My parents just DONT understand.
They keep calling me a bag of bones and smile. If I turn the heating on they have ago at me. My mum makes food she knows I dont consider to be safe. They are doing on purpose just to hurt me, otherwise why else would they do it.
Im thinking about running away. Im due to go into a clinic so Could just go and not tell them. They dont want me to go there, why would a parent not want there sick daughter to get help? Its not normal.
And no I cant talk to them, and Im not even going to consider it either. They have too many problems of their own at the moment and me im just making them worse.
My poor little brother though, I cant leave him even to go into a hospital, I feel so bad.
I feel bad now, have so many bad feelings and thoughts I just want them to go.
My mum thinks I am getting better *laughs* she even told my doctor, so now I bet he is going to not help me anymore because he thinks I am better. But im not immfar from it, in fact worse, I never use to exercise before, but now always am running, moving about, etc. I restrict a lot more than I use to, and If I do it It will come straight back up unless its something that is safe. Like for dinner today I just had salad so that was ok, as there are not a lot of kcals in that, so today has been ok I guess, just salad and a sandwich. But still. Im so annoyed and confused, and scared, and urgh.
I dont know what to do :(
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
But Sammi, you punishing yourself isn't going make them more repentant or you hurt less...but it is letting them "win" and succeed in what they were trying to do- mentally fuck with you.
I know how you feel about your brother- my sister was beaten so badly by my father at age 17 that she could have been killed, and I had always regretted that I was too hesitant to call the police (social workers did nothing, so why should they?). But you have to do this for yourself, and hold no remorse for wanting to LIVE. Your brother would want the same for you, and I'm sure if he realised all the pain you are suffering, he would say: "My poor big sister..."
Right now, it seems your biggest triggers are family...duh, Lily. So should you stick around with family? No...duh, Lily. But where to go? And should you run away? And how would you pay your way? You have struggled with this disorder and every thought in your head, that you will be able to survive the hardest things in life- which is LIVING life, instead of hiding from it and dancing around it. But...you need to get out now, before you kill yourself out of spite.
Don't talk to them; talk to a guidance counsellour, a priest/rabbi/pastor you trust, a professor you trust, peer counsellour, therapist/doctor (yes the very same one you think will ignore your problems), older friend, friend with parents who give a damn, neighbours who you trust, even teen and adolescent hotlines.
As for your brother - you say you couldn't run away because of what will happen to him - my question to you is - why doesn't the same apply to you harming yourself in front of him? Your ED (or mine) can actually rub off on people, in one way or another, and I am sure if you are that close to him, that he has some idea of what's going on. In my opinion, you should stay even closer to his side and show his what your strenght can accomplish.
Best of luck to you.
Good luck, hon
And so, why let your parents do that? They are human beings, mere mortals, just ants like everyone else on this planet. So do what you need to do for you. They are thinking about "number one" so that's what you have to do for yourself as well.
(I apologise if that is harsh.)
I've suffered the same illness as you for my entire life (okay, those first five or six years were "blissful"). This isn't my way of getting into a pissing competition, or downing on another person in distress. I understand what you're going through in a different way- my parents were abusive, my younger sister bore the brunt of the abuse because she was the rebel (that means not getting straight-As or wanting to go to college) of the family, and I was suffering. I moved out at 18, scared to death for my sister after she was nearly killed, like I said. But she moved out about six months later to live with my grandmother and aunt, and things worked out. They have ways of doing that.
http://www.myspace.com/rickyberger
Check her out.