i know i shouldnt but i miss my eating disorder. i thought i was better. i went for 3 weeks where i ate what i wnated and didnt care. i didnt care about weight calories or anything. but now its horrible again. im trying to restrict to undo my good weeks. but my dad is all over me making sure im eating and snacking. so i have to be extra sneaky to restrict and once im able to i feel great that i was able to do it. but if i restrict to much i wind up eating wayyyy to much of soemthing.. usually chips. and i feel horrible. but i cant make myself not restrict. i want to be sickly skinny again. i want to lose weight. alot of it.
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