i hate myself for this behavior. its disgusting to me. i'm not even hungry at all, yet i get up out of bed at 3 in the morning and just start in. i was thinking about this earlier, and i realized, i have been doing this for most of my life. the only time i was at a normal weight was for a few yrs in high school. my mom was diabetic and she served my plate to me, with everything measured out. i have the knowledge about foods, weighing, measuring, portion control. i just don't do it anymore. God, i feel like i need my mother here to serve my plate to me and say "this is what you are allotted to eat for dinner". i have no control anymore. somewhere along my life's journey, i have stopped caring and just eat with abandon. i am as heavy now as i was at 9 months pregnant. i just feel sick.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...