i posted a discussion last week saying how shitty i felt. how crap things were, if u read it/read my profile then ul know ive been through alot latley. in breif my mums taking my dad to court on dec18th, there seperated n xmas going b awful. i was also raped about 3-4 weeks ago, still hasnt sunk in properly. the guy who did it is my house mates freind n he came around the other day...it baught all them old emotions back and then hearing my mum talk about xmas made things even worse. u know i just felt shit agen, like i did last year when my ED was really bad. I dont have any problems with eating now but recently as i said in my last post ive been thinking about it alot...u know when somethings huting u sooo much n you dont want to cope so u strace insted or when u feel so guilty 4 being alive, for breating, 4 eating that u have to be sick. well ive been feeling like that loads but i never acted upon the feeling. until last night, and i dunno what it was about y.day, everything was fine at col, fine at home i just had this feeling i didnt want to eat but i made myself have pie and spagetti. then i made myself sick, i havent done that in over a month now and last n8 i let myself down...i dont wanna go there agen but its really heading that way, i feel bad 4 eating again! god, please help me b4 i go backwards....
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