Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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It's my release, is it yours?

deleted_user
deleted_user
My story is a long one and not one I want to bore you with (see my journal and profile if you like)

When I purge or throw up (whatever you want to call it) I feel as though it is my release. I have sooo many thoughts and feelings in my head that it is a way for me to forget it all and just to concentrate on one thing - my eating.

In a way it is my comfort - the thing that defines me - is this making any sense to anyone?

I have had my ED since I was 14 and I'm 33 now. I stopped my ED for 3 years (WOW I hear you say) but I was triggered recently (I passed a place where my abuse happened) I could'nt cope without my ED.

Am I wierd?
deleted_user
deleted_user
i don't think its weird at all. when i purge i feel like im getting a clean slate, and that i'm refreshed. there are a lot of feelings involved with purging that have no relation to food. good job on going 3 years, that is amazing - if you did it before you could do it again. try to get that healthy life style back, it truly is inspiring
good luck with everything :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
heck no your not weird!! why would you think that? sometimes you can have a relapse and you get back in that destructive pattern! At least you realize this, now what are you gonna do about it? This needs to be addressedd before it gets to far!! Help youself out!! I hope you find your way!! Hug!
deleted_user
deleted_user
If your weird that makes me...oh lord....No way your NOT weird..your human and everyone has their problems and issues. It's how we all get over them that makes us unique and fascinating...I hope you find a way to get over your ED again...:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
When I need a release I go to Yoga. The meditation helps me let go of all the crowding thoughts and feelings. This may sound really weird but its a little like purging, it feels so good when it's over. XO
deleted_user
deleted_user
you are extremely normal....this is what bulimia is all about...but recovery is about getting that "high" from other sources that are not self destructive...that's the hard work.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly what you mean. I know when I purged I almost felt high afterwards. It would actually energize me to run. Those days, however, are long gone...but I think what you described is typical.
Slimpics
Slimpics
Sometimes I eat JUST so that I can purge and feel that release. Now is THAT weird?
deleted_user
deleted_user
No I understand you - it is the same for self harmers too I think. It's that release of emotion but you can see it physically - am I making sense?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I started purging to get rid of bad emotions....it didn't have anything to do with weight or body image when it began. When I purged, it helped me get rid of a little bit of that blackness inside of me. I've stopped for about a year...but I think I am beginning to relapse. I'm dealing with my rapes and my boyfriend being away....I hope I don't go back into the bad habits.
deleted_user
deleted_user
YOU'RE NOT WEIRD.
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