
Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

deleted_user
This is gona sound weird I think,
But I have been sick for a long time,
I am physically drained, emotionally nearly dead, I can not cope anymore,
If this eating disorder carries on I dont think I will have any tears left to cry....
I am on medication, and starting therapy Wednesday,
And I hope to god I can get rid of this, there are no words to explain the grief and torture I have,
But...
Some of me doesnt want to recover, I want to be thin still, I have my depression hole, and I am comfortable staying here. at least I know who I am when I have this to cling onto.
Its my own private secret, its mine, and its me. I dont want to loose it.
Its my own way of dealing with hardship and sadness,
What if recovery means I get fat again, and what if I cant find another way of dealing with things?
Who will it make me become?
Im terrified.
But I have been sick for a long time,
I am physically drained, emotionally nearly dead, I can not cope anymore,
If this eating disorder carries on I dont think I will have any tears left to cry....
I am on medication, and starting therapy Wednesday,
And I hope to god I can get rid of this, there are no words to explain the grief and torture I have,
But...
Some of me doesnt want to recover, I want to be thin still, I have my depression hole, and I am comfortable staying here. at least I know who I am when I have this to cling onto.
Its my own private secret, its mine, and its me. I dont want to loose it.
Its my own way of dealing with hardship and sadness,
What if recovery means I get fat again, and what if I cant find another way of dealing with things?
Who will it make me become?
Im terrified.
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I don't want to be negative, but your ED is something you always need to be watchful of.
On the other hand, you have a great insight into why you have an ED, and that's a great place to start!
One thing I can promise you, if you go into treatment they won't make you fat. They will get you close to your ideal body weight and than reduce your food intake. They know that making you fat would be a guaranty to relapse.
im crying again, i feel so down today.
i appreciate all your comments so so much.
they have all helped!!!!
i just feel like its never gona go away, but its so nice for so many people i have never met to offer support. i am slightly overwhelmed.
all of you seam to understand the pain i feel too, which is terrible for you all. im so sorry you all feel this bad too.
im really glad i am on this site. i dont feel so alone....
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