I have been anorexic since age 14. Now 38, my weight is out of control. I want to kill myself. I've never been this fat. I weigh 146 and I use to weigh 110. Sometimes 95. I know it's wrong, but I am having trouble puking again. It's either too late or too soon after I eat. I can't get it right. What can I do? I don't need anyone telling me that it's wrong, I know it's wrong, I just need to get through this hard time. Thank you
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