Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I'm writing this post to be honest with everyone. I had my weekly session today and my therapist wanted me to write about my feelings.
Last year I was inpatient and thought I had made it when I was released. I had gained weight and felt happy for the first time in my life. But by now everything is gone. I'm doing worse than before I went inpatient. My husband and my doctors want me to go back to the clinic but I just can't at least not any time soon.
I've looked into different programs, inpatient and residential and found a few that sound pretty good. So my attitude changed a little and I called my insurance to see if they cover any of those. I've been calling for the last two weeks and get different answers with each rep. The only thing they agree on is that they don't cover any. One moment they give me hope and tell me I can go, the next minute they say they don't cover it. So I'm so frustrated with insurance that I just want to cry and I just stopped looking for any other possibilities.
Then a recovered older friend of mine said she would start an anorexia support group (there is none in all of CO Springs). I was so enthusiastic and even willing to start a mealplan. But last week she told me she is probably backing out of the whole plan.
I'm angry and disappointed and feel like nobody cares(insurance, health system), so why should I care. I know that sounds like being a brat, but I'm just tired of all that crap.
So here is my confession: I'm giving up and just go on like the way I am. I feel so weak and dizzy all the time, sometimes my arms hurt when I'm walking.(how strange is this) I can hardly do anything physically. Sometimes I pass out at home, that's how bad it is.
And that's what I'm going to wait for, to pass out in public and then let whoever decide what to do with me. Right now I don't give it shit what happens. I'm just bitter and hopeless. I'm convinced that I will never beat this ED.
I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me, I just want to be honest. This attitude I only have towards me and not for anybody else on here. On the contrary I still want to help and give advice to others. So please don't judge me or cut me out. Let me stay to be here for everybody who wants to talk to me. Stay my friends.
Last year I was inpatient and thought I had made it when I was released. I had gained weight and felt happy for the first time in my life. But by now everything is gone. I'm doing worse than before I went inpatient. My husband and my doctors want me to go back to the clinic but I just can't at least not any time soon.
I've looked into different programs, inpatient and residential and found a few that sound pretty good. So my attitude changed a little and I called my insurance to see if they cover any of those. I've been calling for the last two weeks and get different answers with each rep. The only thing they agree on is that they don't cover any. One moment they give me hope and tell me I can go, the next minute they say they don't cover it. So I'm so frustrated with insurance that I just want to cry and I just stopped looking for any other possibilities.
Then a recovered older friend of mine said she would start an anorexia support group (there is none in all of CO Springs). I was so enthusiastic and even willing to start a mealplan. But last week she told me she is probably backing out of the whole plan.
I'm angry and disappointed and feel like nobody cares(insurance, health system), so why should I care. I know that sounds like being a brat, but I'm just tired of all that crap.
So here is my confession: I'm giving up and just go on like the way I am. I feel so weak and dizzy all the time, sometimes my arms hurt when I'm walking.(how strange is this) I can hardly do anything physically. Sometimes I pass out at home, that's how bad it is.
And that's what I'm going to wait for, to pass out in public and then let whoever decide what to do with me. Right now I don't give it shit what happens. I'm just bitter and hopeless. I'm convinced that I will never beat this ED.
I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me, I just want to be honest. This attitude I only have towards me and not for anybody else on here. On the contrary I still want to help and give advice to others. So please don't judge me or cut me out. Let me stay to be here for everybody who wants to talk to me. Stay my friends.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
PLEASE don't give up! Know that you are better than everything that you have been through. Go to the ER with your husband and twll them that you passed out and wonder if you had a seizure, this will at least get you in. Think about it...
Like reptilemom said, DO WHAT YOU MUST TO GET HELP. Walk into the ER and scream that you need medical attention, and if you're too weak for that, pass out on their floor (or fake it).
Insurance companies are FUCKERS. They don't care about you, or your family, or helping you- they care about money money money money money and making lots of it.
So what to do? Designate someone as your guardian. You write down what you can when it comes to symptoms, questions that need to be answered, and anything else you can think of. You copy it and give it to your guardian, who will be your buddy in calling the insurance companies. You can't call? That's what the buddy is for. You just can't deal with the stress right now of calling yet another clinic for info? That's what the buddy is for. They call, they get the info, and you are saved the vital energy.
You feel hopeless right now because it seems everyone around you is backing out. I AM NOT BACKING OUT. Here I am, ready to stand, and if I lived in CO, you can bet your ass I would be in your living room, making plans with you and setting shit up (or I suppose, trying my absolute best).
I know it's different, but when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, she had to get the help virtually alone- my father was always at work, never helped her out, and we were just kids and felt helpless. She would cry about how she just wanted to kill herself daily and nightly, because of the shithead insurance companies and fucked-up money-grubbing doctors that could care less how she felt emotionally or physically. I didn't let my mom break my arm barrier when she tried to push past me to take a lethal dosage of drugs. Nor will I allow you to die, which you will if you don't get this treatment NOW.
Your husband sees that you need help- enlist him as your soldier in this battle. Get a best friend who has known you for years in on the fight. I know it's hard, my love, but put those boxing gloves back on, because it's time for round 2.
I applied for an ED scholarship through the freed foundation. The site is www.freedfoundation.oif you're interested in applying. It takes a while though to hear back I applied 3 months ago and I still haven't heard anything.