People treat people who are over weight different than people who are not. I'm sick of talking about wanting to lose weight with the people in my life and contstanly trying to lose weight but end up ruining it with a binge. The people in my life therefore just see me as having a lack of willpower or being lazy. But that is not the case. Im not lazy and I dont have a lack of will power. I try very hard. I try hard every day of my life. I exercise almost daily and i hate it because i try so hard and then ruin it by binging. It becomes a viscous cycle and then I end up giving up. I also end up ruining the relationships with people in my life because I am embarrased about the way I look./ I have cut ties with all of my friends because I always talk about losing weight and Im not. But they dont understand how hard I really an trying! Its a vicsous cycle and I want it to end. And my brother just got home with his girlfriend and I havenmt seen her in months and I gained 15 to 20 pounds since the last time I saw her so now I feel trapped up in my room. I wont go downstairs until they leave now. Im mad at my brother for bringing her home. but he doesnt know how I feel so I cant be mad at him. i hate knowing that people look at me different now that i've gained weight. The weight gain is the ED and is a cry for help!
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