I have an eating disorder ive been dealing with alone. i dont really even know how it started but i know its been like a year and a half. almost every single day i eat and throw up days worth of food. i dont just eat a big meal and feel fat and throw it up. i get cravings for chocolate chips fast food home whole cakes, home cooked meals pretty much anything and i will eat until my tummy hurts and ill throw it up somedays just to do it over and over for hours until my boyfriend comes home. ive had enough of it and i dont know how to stop. everytime when im done with throwing up im discusted and feel sick and i promise myself thats it tomorrow im doing to eat 3 normal meals and thats it. this is effecting everything my relationship because i feel sick alot and fat after i throw up all day i dont want to have sex with my boyfriend so im not satisfiing his need like i use to, i am ALWAYS freezing cold in mall or any place, my posture is really bad from it, it makes me socialy ocward, im always tired i have no energy, i have beautiful teeth and i just went to the dentist and he was shocked to see how many cavities i have now , my hair has thinned some, when i eat normaly i dont even really know when im full because i eat crazy amounts of food so i dont think my tummy knows anymore, my periods are always late or sometimes dont come and my boyfriend is confused why, sometimes my throat gets swollen or my glands. I recently went on a trip with my family for 2 weeks and i didnt throw up once and it didnt bother me at all and i gained some weight back but when i came home and had time alone it started all over again. I want some help from other girls because i dont know what to do. i am such an obedient person and i just cant seem to break this but i also care ALOT how people look and me so that chances or me ever telling anyone are SLIMM. I need to break this bymyself and im asking for some help, reading over what i just wrote is so scary because ive never said this to anyone before. im not crazy and abnormal person this is something i just got caught up in and im stuck. if anyone was to see me you would never think i was suffering with this, i have so much going for me in every aspect and in order for me to BE i NEED HELP.
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