My problem is that I love food. I think about food all the time. My cravings for food get so bad that I can taste it in my mouth and it will drive me crazy until I have it and then somehow I have to go out and get it. I always want to eat and I'm always up for things that involve eating. When I try to eat a normal meal, I will usually end up over eating. Like my morning will start off with a granola bar, then instead of having 1 serving of pasta, I'll have 3 or 4, then I'll have a bagel. Afterwards I feel bad for eating all of that stuff but then I tell myself I won't eat for the rest of the day. But I end up eating a lot later in the night. I eat everything. It just feels so good when I'm eating all of that food. For me it's like 1 isn't enough, then 2 isn't enough, so I keep going and going. I don't know what is going on. Sometimes I eat because I am stressed but sometimes I have no idea why I am eating. I really like the way the food tastes but I never am hungry but when I do eat all of this food I never feel full, that's why I can eat so much. I used to be bulimic and when I was builimic and when I would binge that was the way I releived my stress but this is not that. I know alot of it is due to my medication but I don't know why else. Could medication really make me want food this bad? Does anyone else take medication that makes them want to eat all the time and cause weight gain? I have no other explanation to why this is happening. I just want to eat all of the time. I love food. I watch the food network all day. It's like food rules my life. But it's ruining it because I'm so depressed about how fat I've become. And my weight has been an issue since I was 11 when I developed bulimia. Right now I am 85lbs over my normal weight due to my binge eating. But seeing how big I have gotten still is not enough to get me to stop eating like this. I don't know what to do. I constantly want to eat. My dad has even gotten mad at me because I eat too much. He has to tell me to stop eating sometimes. So that's why I've resorted to eating in private. But I can't hide my weight gain. I look like a completely different person than I did just a few years ago. I do not like what I see in the mirror. But my love for food just takes over everything.
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