i'm staying with my mother for the next month and have been here for two weeks already and i feel so scrutinized. every day she tries to ask what i've eaten in this really unsubtle way and seems like she doesn't believe me when i tell her. or if i refuse to tell her she gets really upset. i just feel so much pressure right now because my sister just had brain surgery and this is not the right time too be weak or needing to be looked after. she's been so sick and i'm trying so hard to be well enough to be there for her its just sometimes more than i can handle. i feel like i'm like my skin is crawling off my body. i don't have anywhere i can go at the moment that feels comforting or calm. the only reason i'm home is that my sister is sick and just dont have any friends here anymore and i feel really isolated. i want to be better and be well i just don't feel like i really am. i'm thinking about food and weight and excercise all the time and i feel like when i leave i could be in for a major relapse. i just feel so overwhelmed today. and i feel to tired to try.
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