Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I was in a relationship with an anorexic and the realtionship failed miserablely..for 2 years of the relationship the drug use was out of control..we both got clean and sober and i have been that way for almost 3 years now..the crazy thing is that when april got sober she immediately started losing weight and got down to about 90 pounds..i TRIED TO SUPPORT HER AND BE THERE FOR HER...my question is i started to see april withdrawing from the relationship and becoming completely unavailable...does the disease of ed rob you of your feelings and if so do you have to recover to get them back...the emotional unavailability that she displayed was horrible..the therapist told me to lay off of her and so i did and that still didnt work..it got to the point that we would go to dinner at someones house and she would bring her own food to eat or we would have to stop to get to go food...when she left my house i found like 4 empty cartons of laxatives and i know she was only pooping like 1 time a week? is that part of the disease? i remember her telling me she was having fat days and i just wouldnt say anything...i am sad and i did my share of acting out i really did..but i was frustrated with the whole situation..i really was. i guess i just want to know if it is possible to have a healthy relationship with someone that is in active addiction with this disorder?
thanks for your time
james
thanks for your time
james
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
dont worry, when i was at my worst stage of my ED i didnt want to be around ANYBODY.. you get so moody and so depressed that you know if anybody comes around you'll probably just pick a fight with them. she may also be avoiding you because she knows that you are skeptical and feels like you maybe watching her every move. in her defense, she wouldnt be with you if she didnt want to be.. so that tells me she still loves you. but ED is an awful little bastard, and everybody knows that you cant have a relationship with you, your girlfriend, and ED..
the weird thing is is that my boyfriend and i almost broke up because of my laxative abuse. its embarassing for me to talk about to somebody that im so attracted to, so the fact that he knew made me think he would no longer be attracted to me... i dont think hes tracking my bowel movements, and i highly suggest you dont do that either. i bet she'll start to feel like you're acting like a father instead of a boyfriend, making things even worse.
i honestly think that you two should take a break for awhile, at least until she gets better.. as long as shes still as deep into her ED as it sounds like she is, theres no way that she'll be able to give to you the love that you deserve. (i am not AT ALL talking badly about her.. again, there isnt a doubt in my mind she loves you.) just be there for her when she needs to talk. and dont ever ask her if shes doing this because of you.. (i dont know your entire history together, but chances are its deff. does not have naything to do with you.)
My ED is quite different from your girlfriend's....but I just wanted to share with you that if I had to describe how I felt, it's like deep down I just want to be held and hugged, but the reality of that is too scary and I just want to push everyone away an be alone, and try to numb/blank out my feelings.
I think to weather a relationship through the manifestation of an ED and through the treatment and recovery process, you need to be the type of person that is very secure within yourself and very dedicated to your partner.
You need to be able to handle your frustrations and disappointment in a way that is not going to inflict those feelings upon your gf, you need to be able to tolerate and support her when she doesn't want to go out to eat at friend's houses, or if she wants to behave in quite a reclusive manner.
As she moves through her treatment, things will change, but right now what she needs to know is that she can trust you 100% to be there for her, to put her needs and feelings first, and not to judge her on any behaviours that you might find strange/frustrating/concerning - you might never get them, but she has her reasons, and to her they make perfect sense.
I know it's a tall order - but really that's the only way I can see a relationship surviving in a way that is conducive to her treatment and recovery.
I'm not saying other relationships don't survive, but sometimes partners can contribute in quite a big way to EDs and hinder/slow down recovery.
HTH
Sharon xx
Everything you saw was normal behavior for someone in the depths of anorexia. And it is normal for her to become more tangled in anorexic behaviors once she leaves another addiction behind. The feelings THAT addiction masked were not dealt with. She was still trying to bury them.
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