Yesterday at my cousin's baby shower...I ate way too much and I felt super sick! I didn't want to throw up but I needed to or else I felt like I would just kill myself right then and there. I feel so ashamed of myself. I haven't made myself sick in over a month, and now I have failed. I do not want to tell my aunt because I still have no clue how to talk to her about this problem. I'm still looking for some treatment in my area. I was wondering, can I go to my family doctor and maybe ask for help there or for maybe a recommendation to someplace I could go to???? I seriously want this to go away and stop controlling my life! It has taken over my mind completely and the worst part is, is that I let it! I'm pathetic and worthless! I am so gross and should have never ever been born! I know I shouldn't be saying these things but that's the way I feel. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks that either. Ummm I'm just going to stop writing before I like say something that I may regret. I don't know what that might be so that's why I'm stopping. Have a goodnight everybody!
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