
Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

deleted_user
I am sooooo scared. I am putting on weight and I know its a good thing but it is making me so depressed. I feel so fat and I keep thinking I'm a stupid failure for eating so much and not purging. When I look at myself I want to cry because I dont feel in control any more. So I have started cutting myself more to compensate, I have to punish myself somehow. I dont want to be a blob, I want to be thin. But I'm also aware of the price of being thin. These last 7 years its all I've cared about and its nearly destroyed me and my family and put me in hospital umpteen times. The three months I spent on the psych ward helped me get my head together and forced me to face my eating problems but I know its not something you can get over quickly. I'm just petrified and am back to wanting to avoid eating however I can and taking the dog out for stupidly long walks and doing sit ups at night in a desperate bid to keep the pounds off because to me they equate to failure. I have to stop obsessing over my size but its all I've done since the age of 12 so I'm so used to it. I keep thinking everyone is looking at me talking about how fat I am. It makes me want to cry. I hate being this way.

deleted_user
1st off kudos for not purging anymore! I hear your mind is the last thing to cooperate when in recovery from E.D. I'm still in the "let's try not to purge today" process. Are you seeing a therapist? Do you have an O.A. group with a sponsor? A nutritionist specialized in E.D.? If not I suggest finding them because it is really vital to have a lot of supports to make it through the rough times of recovery. If I can do anything let me know! Take care and stay strong, you really are doing the right thing :)

deleted_user
Hey...this is a very hard part or phase of recovery right now, but if you can stay string and make it through these shitty times...you will feel and be so much better and healthier...stay strong..jenny

deleted_user
Good for you for not purging! I am so proud of you and impressed! This is the scary part, but you're going to make it through it! I believe in you!

deleted_user
I felt the exact same way when I started eating again and gaining weight. The only thing that helped me was remembering my life when I was in my ED. It helped me stay on the right path. Also, talking to my therapist weekly sometimes several times a week until I felt better helped me a lot.
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