after this weekend, after throwing up 18 times within 24 hrs is when it hit me...THIS IS NOT NORMAL FOR ANYONE TO DO THIS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??? i felt so ashamed of myself, its not a good feeling to feel all the things i have in the past 6 months+...i dont know what is quite going on in my messed up head...if i could fix it i would in a heart beat...if i had the money i would do what is right for me & that would be to go away and get the proper help i need and not thinking about coming back until i am COMPLETELY fixed...if that can ever happen...i dont know where to go from here now...im so confused...i dont have money, how can you do anything without money...i feel if something dont give soon i will die....and i know that in my heart i can feel it...my bones hurt i am dizzy constantly my vision ois blurry, sometimes, my heart skips beats, my throat has hurt for so long now i have grown used to it...my hair is falling out and it looks like crap, my teeth feel funny, and i just dont know what else to do, my mood swings are awful im affraid i will push everyone i love away and it might be too late...i dont know what to do anymore and that scares me so much i cant even explain it...i am at a loss of where to go, if i dont do something i will die and i do not want that...if anyone can tell me something to do or anything i would appreciate it so much, im so scared it is so out of control i cant take it anymore it is devouring me and i cant stop it!
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