Yesterday was my 1 year wedding anniversary. I ate a small piece of wedding cake and sushi with wine. I hate myself today and I have exercised for 2 hours and taken diet pills and water pills. I usually only eat 500 calories per day. I am scared of the food, yet I feel selfish. I feel like I gained 5 pounds. I do not even know how to eat anymore.
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Been having a real bad time trying to recover. I'm trying everything. but nothing seems to be working. I have been writing in my journal, making meal preps and I even have a recovery account on instagram. but none of this have been working. I still get theses evil thoughts and I give in and just find myself fasting again. I dont think i can ever love my body. atm i have very low self esteem. my...
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