I unfortunately end up at my doctor an awful lot. The enemy is there. The scale. It is always an issue. Seeing I am a multiple, there are many of them with eating disorders. If the scale doesn't say what they want it to, they start yelling at each other so they can blame somebody for what it reads. The most recent doctor's visit was the one that told me that this weight thing is too important. I had found out that I would probably need a surgery in my neck that could paralyze me if I do nothing about it. Here is something that is extremely important and instead of listening to this, there is an alter out there screaming about the scale and it was important what we weighed. After hearing that our health didn't seem as important as what the scale said, I had to face up to the fact it is really bad and has been for years. I know everyone has that little voice in their head that blames you for eating something you shouldn't. As a multiple, there is a bunch of them yelling about it. It has to stop. I had already ruined my stomach and had a surgery because of bulimia. I can't have this happen again. I am not sure if there are any multiples out here. I guess I am just looking for advice of there is anyone that understands. Even if someone dissociates out here. I know the beginning of this eating disorder goes back to 13 at the earliest I know of. If I could just get rid of my mother's voice and her comments, that would solve a lot of the problems. My therapist deals with multiples but not with eating disorders. Eating disorders are one of the top things that come with being DID. For some reason none of them deal with that or body dysmorphia.
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