sometims I feel so weak, powerless. I failed to escape the selftorment again and again. And I am really desperate. It was too tiring, or exhausting to struggle with myself. I don't want to continue such life. it was not a normal life. everyday so many people contribute more or less to the society, but what I have done, only gives me reason to dissappear from the world. Why should my folk suffer with me? Hasn't my mother suffered enough. I am 22 and still need her to console me. I should already be able to support her at least mentally. what am I doing, is to be the largest burden of her life and destroy her future which could be wonderful without me.
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