Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Mental Health
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feeling so out of control

deleted_user
deleted_user
i'v been dealing with bulimia for years but more recently it has taken a HUGE shift in my life...becoming more and more prominent in my daily life...over everything else...especially during this last week and a half almost 2 weeks....its the only way i feel i have any control anymore...i went to the dr's on the 1st and was told i had to be weighed as a part of the check in process...i tried getting out of it but they wouldn't put me in a room to see the dr unless i did it...so i got on the scale...and when i seen the number it sent me spiraling so fast....and i've been in this dark place ever since...i've gone all this time with nothing to eat...that is until tonight....i ended up losing control again and ate and ate and ate until i ate so much it made me sick...and even though i did get sick i feel disgusting...like a failure...i hate myself sooo much...why does my mind have to work like this?...i don't have anyone i can talk to about it...i feel so completely alone...hurting so much because i hate myself so much...
deleted_user
deleted_user
On the scale it's only a number. We all lose control here and there. But I want to believe we can overcome this
deleted_user
deleted_user
when i was initially assessed for my bulimia treatment stuff, i asked to be weighed, and they refused,
they still refuse to let me anywhere near a scale.
its weird that they would know you have a thing about your weight and then force you on a scale!
i think they are mean.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Robin68...you said what i try to imagine everyday...believing that one day i can and will overcome this...thank you for that additional support with that...
deleted_user
deleted_user
kellybrook...the dr i went to was in an urgent care facility...i'm guessing they really don't look over a persons medical charts to its fullest extent before seeing them...and maybe i'm giving them waaaaay too much credit in that way...i'm not sure...i had been working so hard at keeping off a scale...even threw mine away...it sooo wasn't easy to do but i was making some accomplishment with it until that appt...now i have a new scale and can't stay off of it...i know everyone says it's only a number...but for me right now it's the most important number..i go to sleep thinking of that number and wake up with it...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Getting on a scale is what's stopping me from going back to the dr. I know they'll make me because they did before. Even knowing my condition! So I completely understand.Write me if ya need to chat.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have actually been in recover for about six months now. All I did was carry a small bag of things to eat in my purse everywhere I went. Or course it was things like raisins, peanuts, dried fruit, etc., but it really worked. I ate every time I felt hungry and STAYED OUT OF THE KITCHEN. I also used calorie-counter.com to help me see what I was eating. I mean, I still think about it all the time and fall a bit here and there, but I don't feel like eating so much if I see that I've eaten all throughout the day. Hope this helps.
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