Hi Eloka. You sound really upset, I'm sorry you feel so bad. Can you try writing a bit more about yourself? It might help you if you put things into words, and it would help us respond to your pain if we knew more about you.
You know you're not the fattest person in the world, and I truly understand what you say when you want to be a kid agai. There's a lot going on in your mmind at the moment, so go gentle on yourself.
Hugs:)

Oh I've been there. Especially if you're standing in a ballet leotarp around girls who have bodies of 8 year olds. The writing idea, is really good. I find it soooo helpful, It's a great venting tool.

i know exactly how you feel, in fact i requested a time traveling machine for christmas. if i get one i'll let you use it.
why do you want to be a kid again?

Hello. I understand what you're going through--I have days like that too. Juice is right--if you could just talk a little more about yourself, maybe we could help?

I hate that feeling....it's not true though...youre great...:)

Hi, my name is Lisa and I have a 15 year old daughter who is going through the same thing. Every compliment she gets, she disagrees with and insists that she is fat....I am getting her to eat slowly but she has a long way to go. She was sexually abused by strangers, physically/emotionally abused by her dad, and had 3 friends die in car accidents within 8 months of each other. The last part is when her ED really started kicking in. She thinks that if she dies then she will be with them and God can't hurt her anymore. She is very mad at God for taking her friends. She is in a group at school for girls who have an ED and do selfharm and does individual counseling with a trained therapist. I try to compliment her everyday so that she knows just how beautiful she is but soemtimes she doesn't get it. You are not the fattest person in the world and neither is she....It is just giong to take some time before you can see the beautiful person you are. I have my daughter write down 10 good things about her on M-W-F and put it on the bathroom mirror. It seems to be helping but I know we have a long way to go.I hope you find your inner strength so that your healing may begin. I hope I didn't over step the boundaries but it feels good to share with people who are going through what my daughter is going through and maybe get some feedback as well. Good Luck

I have been feeling the same way! I hate it but can't stop eatting. I know I'm not the fattest person, but sometimes I sure feel like it! My doctor doesn't think I have a problem though.

We all have fat days, sometimes even on days we loose weight. I hate myself on those days and there's really nothing that helps me. Sorry I can't be more helpfull.
Lisa I know that you want to help your daughter by complimenting her. But once you have an ED every compliment about looks translates into "you are fat". So maybe show your daughter in a different way how much you love her.

I cant tell you how to stop feeling like this-i wish i could. It seems to make it worse when people tell you that you're not fat, or that you are perfect as you are, because it feels like they are patronising you or pitying the 'poor fat girl'. But the truth is that we will never see what others see, and those people are not pitying us, but trying to help. I find that it actually helps to come onto DS and help others, even though it's messed up that i cant follow my own advice! Hope you have a better day tomorrow :)

Thanks so much everyone, you guys make me feel heaps better.