Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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ED wrecks friendships

deleted_user
deleted_user
My best friend and I for 5 years shared our ED together. My therapist tells me this is quite a common thing. I thought i couldnt imagine life without my best friend. we have shared everything together and have travelled overseas together.

But our ED has wrecked everything for good i fear. I told her i didnt want to see her, that i wanted to get better. I saw her for the first time last weekend...she said i was selfish for needing time for myself. i dont think that what she said is fair. sometimes we need to put ourselves first! BUT... i know its over. We decided on a fresh start...but i can just feel it. there is too much pain and too much of our past was destructive. It hurts...but i know ive tried. I hate that ED takes everything away at times. even the things we dont want to loose.
deleted_user
deleted_user
its not selfish to need time for yourself
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are doing the right thing, and your friend will understand one day. ED is exactly the same-an old friend that is so destructive for us, yet so comforting. We feel safe with ED, yet we know it is killing us. You've taken the hardest step by walking away and should be proud.
deleted_user
deleted_user
what you did was a good thing......you need to recover and think of yourself...maybe when your friend is ready to take that step you can help her too and support her...:)
deleted_user
deleted_user
babe, if i had a friend who had ED too I would never be able to get over it-you need to have a friend who tells u its bad,who can help u get out of this,not someone you live ur situation together with,just because u feel better that way..be on ur own for sometime
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are not selfish, on the contrary you are doing what you need to do. I'm happy that want to recover and if she can't be happy for you, you don't need her. It would be different if you both decided to work together on recovery. You are absolutely right that you need to do what is good for yourself. I have a friend with ED but we meet very seldom, maybe every two months and we don't encourage our sick behavior, so that's a little bit different.
Juice
Juice
My sister and I both have bulimia, and the only way we can cope with that is by an unwritten agreement not to talk about it or nag eachother to get better. If we invited Ed into our relationship I think it would kill it. You've done the right thing, however sad it makes you. Ed's a shit.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You definitely did the right thing.

I think she's just not in that place in her disorder where she can be happy for you. She wants a buddy because it allows her to hold onto her disorder. It tells her that it is okay to be sick.

Once you leave the equation, she has to start asking herself if it really IS okay.
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