I'm trying to be in recovery. I've made a commitment to my medical team to step up and follow their directions. Part of me really wants to too, I dont want to keep fighting this, I just want ED to be gone. However there's that part of me that still wants it. I feel kind of proud that "I have an eating disorder" because it show willpower and commitment to myself that I can do something. Why I won't let go of the control, what do I get from it? I dont know. I have lost weight and I really like that part and am so fearful of gaining it back. My medical team says if I can't change (like now) and follow instructions, I will have to go inpatient once again. I'm so afraid to let go of ED. I have had him around for over 20 years. But I also want to see what it would be like to be healthy. Is anyone else going through this struggle between keeping and letting go? Will I be okay if I let go and follow thru?
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I'm 92 lbs and thirteen years oldTo some people it's average or even underweight but I don't see it like that. In the mirror, I see a big ugly blob. I need to loose weight but the problem is that I get hungry. Everytime I eat I feel guilty. Can someone please give me advice on how to be more skinny.
Hello everyone. How are you doing?