do you ever feel so ugly..you feel like a monster.. you never want anyone to see you again.. you just want to hide away forever.. do you ever panic when you grab at your hips and feel like theres more fat there than there was yesterday.. do you ever feel like nothing.. like you are the most worthless thing in existance and its completely in your control whether or not you stay trapped in your own uglyness or become what you have always wanted..but as soon as you try.. something always seems to go wrong and you mess up and fail again..and its just one more reminder of what you can never be.. do you ever look at people who are happy.. or even just ok.. and wonder what theyre thinking about.. how the hell anyone could ever have anything on their mind apart from food weight perfection and failure.. do you ever feel like no one can see you for what you really are.. and youre the only one thinking straight.. this is constantly how i feel..and im beyond sick of it..my life is just one never ending struggle...does anyone else feel like this?..
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