So one of my best girlfriends is having a halloween party for girls only tomorrow night. It's a costume party. I love halloween, but not this year. Now that I am in my gained weight phase of my cycle. I want to go, she is really excited, and also really wants me to come. Soo... I am going. I am so afraid. I don't want people to see me and see that I have gained weight. I normally would not come out of hiding yet. I don't know how I am going to relax and have a good time. Actually, I know how I will relax, I will drink alot. That's what I do. Then I am afriad that I will just start eating all the food that will be there that I don't want to eat, then I will be thrown back into my binging when I have gone 5 days, today, of eating good. Help. I don't know what to do. I guess since I know myself, I am just going to have to try and fight it. But how am I ever going to have fun if I am contantly thinking about fighting my ED?
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