i am really struggling with this eating disorder but as I write more about it i feel like im freeing myself of it. annnyways im 16 5'4" and weight 84 pounds. last september I weighed 98 pounds which was good then i went to my doctor for a check up and i gained 6 pounds in four months (probably from stress of school-eating shitty food) and he said well you did gain 6 pounds do you feel like you overeat. And that was it for me I dont know what it was but i just freaked and stopped eating. in may i weighed 82 pounds. Then when school ended I developed a chew a spit eating disorder (chewing up junk food and spitting it out ) and for about three months up untill last week it was controlllling my life. When i was at home all i could think about was where could i go to get some junk food. so last monday i was talking to my mom about how she should go to AA meetings and she said to me "are you bulimic? because i found a bag of throw up in your room." and i flat out said no. and then the next day i couldnt take it so i told her i would chew food up and spit it out. I told her i was really sick, it was controlling me and i need to get help. she called a therapists and i had one session and it seems all good. but then i think about it and im like. I dont know if ill ever be able to be okay with food and just eat it like regular people do. i stopped chewing and spitting last monday and started not eating anything again, then just yesterday i relapsed and chewed and spat. please help me i want to stop this nasty habit.
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