Yet again I woke up saying today is the day. i am not going to throw up. I know what I need to do to stay healthy. A balanced diet and exercise...is it really that hard. Why oh why cant I just do that. Why cant I become passionate about health and taking care of my body. Did great this morning. A serving of cereal, snacked on an apple. Half a sandwich for lunch. None of which filled me up, but as long as i dont feel full i am fine. Come dinner, it all goes down the toilet. Literally. Within a half hour I consumed half a bag of chip, 3 string cheese, toast with butter and a huge bowl of top ramen. I disgust myself with myself. My planning. I know when my husband gets home so I timed it perfect. The scent will be gone in the bathroom. My face wont be all sweaty and red. He will have no idea. On days when my husband is home and I feel the need to purge. I am a MASTER at hiding it. The lengths I will go to are nasty and too embarassing to discuss. What is wrong with me!!!!
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