I posted this as a journal entry first, but think its a big fat thank you to you guys i hoped more of you might see it if i put it here:

'This is by far the hardest entry ive ever had to put into words, i firstly want to thank everyone here, everyone who's touched my heart with there sweet comments, offered me better advice than i could give myself, given up there Prayers for me. More than once, you've literally saved my life. So thank you, your making my job of saying goodbye a tough one.

Last night i felt the worst that ive ever felt in my life, i just sat there, in front of my mirror searching out myself in my reflection. i found myself whispering 'where are you?' over and over. just sitting there freezing and crying and giving up. really i was in hell and couldnt see the point in anyhting anymore (a fairly frequent thought recently).

But then a thought came up in to my head, and im thanking god for it now because its changed everything.. It wasnt the bulimia crying was it? its me, im still in there and i hate what ive done to myself. . . it was like a bucket of water had been thrown over me, the best and the worst thing ive felt in weeks. SO major reality check for me, bulimia shouldnt define me! Im an English Student at a brilliant University, Im a writer, Im a girlfriend to the best guy in the world, Im a good friend to those who need me, Im a chef, Im a sister, a daughter, Im a girl and im not a disease.

Then i logged on here this morining, it was 'NewPaige', my picture, and the words 'Eating Disorder' stamped on my profile. This place is exactly what i cant handle, it lets me hide behind my bulimia. . . its a wonderfull, precious place for those who are strong enough for it. But thats not me, I spend hours on here, trawling through profiles, posts of people comparing my illness to theres, feeling fat or smug or scared. So i realise if i want to get better (and for the first time in ages i really do) i have to go. Go out into the world and concentrate on me for a while.

And since im leaving, My name, my real name, is Kate. Page is my surname. Just feels important to let you guys see at least a little glimpse of the real me.

SO thank you again. Your all have my love and are in my prayers.

Goodbye.

Kate. xxxxxxxxxx.