I have been this way for over 9 years. Sometimes I have slow cycles, but most of the time it is horrible. I induce vomiting at least once a day (most of the time following a binge). But I feel like it is an addiction. I know prior to binging that I don't want to do it, that I hate it, but then I do it anyway. And then feel like shit. Then if my fiance interfers, I get so mad at him and I literally feel like I will go nuts if I don't get to do it, and I end up doing it anyway. But most of the time he is not home to stop me. I am out of control. I really don't want to live like this.
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