Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Things are getting to much, and its not because of me or Ana. Its everyone else, today I was doing so well, and then my mum makes me eat some dinner. I wish they didnt interfere, I wish the NHS would stop interfering the doctors, my cpn, my ED psych stop stop stop. They want me to be an inpatient otherwise will end up sectioning me. I have nothing wrong with me. The thing I have I am happy with, she looks after me, tells me the things I need to hear, cares for me, makes me feel good, so whydo they want me to get rid of her. Because of my dinner I ate tonight, I purged, took 5 diet tablets, and went for a run, and it still doesnt feel enough, and now I have ana screaming at me because I broke a rule, I need to obey her not everyone else...and I cant do that because people are interfering..I feel like I am going mad.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel
You wish everyone didn't interfere because it's easier not to fight. It's easier to just throw your hands up and let the easy coping mechanism take over. But is that what you are? A quitter? I'm guessing not, because people with EDs are some of the best and brightest in the world.
Do this for you, not because you go kicking and screaming to a hospital while your parents drag you by your hair. Get a true grasp on what you're doing to yourself- you are going to die from this, period. Do you want that stigmatism? Of the girls that starved herself/puked herself to death? Most likely, even if you did, you'll die of "cardiac arrest" or "stroke." Leaving most to read your obituary in the paper and say: "So young, and what a pity." And that's what you wanna leave it at?
You have a voice in your head that is screaming because you broke an imaginary constraint. You also have a little voice of Hope, that you can nurture and nourish until it can break through the bars and fly, and quiet the harsh squawks of your eating disorder.
Enough time goes by, and that might actually start happening. And it isn't a good feeling.
Because as much as part of you is fighting to stay disordered and doesn't want anyone messing with that, part of you most assuredly doesn't want to be left alone to deal with this. I guarantee it.
To the core - most of us are intensely lonely people. "Ana" is not enough. She is an illness, a plague. And even if she were a person, she'd never be enough to solve the essential loneliness and isolation that she CAUSES.
Don't wish to be left alone. Go toward the people who actually give a damn about you.