Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
And it makes me feel sick.
Can't seem to stop.
I've had maybe 700 calories today and all but about 70 of those in the last couple of hours. I just want to be sick. I hurt SO much.
I've gone to a gastrointerologist and he didn't see anything so he is putting all the pain in my system to PTSD. But it is through my WHOLE system. I am seeing a specialist for the bottom half of the digestive track in December. Meanwhile, I am tired of hurting and I just want to go back to not eating for a couple of days.
I stopped losing weight. I guess cuz my body was starving. I take a prenatal (prescription) to try and counteract everything (the malnourishment) but me, with my oily skin that keeps my hair so shiny and me looking SO young that a week from my 33rd birthday people STILL think I look like a teenager, me? I have dandruff for the first time in my life and my hair has gotten so brittle. I bought moisturizing and anti-breakage hair products... still...
I love to exercise. Before I got PTSD I just exercised. Now, I'm so damn weak. I think I may be binging because I am SO DETERMINED to work on my muscles. Tired of watching them hang there and flop around and not being able to lift things. I was always a tomboy and stronger than my brothers, and most of the other guys, and now I'm all fat and jiggly and loose skinned.
I could go another 45 lbs before I would be getting "skinny." I'm only 5'3" and all this binging... I can't get on the scale. I gained 2 lbs. ACK! Well, last I looked I was 145 lbs. I could get to 100 and it would be okay. But I struggle to eat a normal days calories and why should I? I'm sedentary now. The PTSD made me agoraphobic (and now this), so I don't GO anywhere. If my house weren't 3 stories, I'd get NO exercise. *sigh*
First time I felt compelled to post in here. I just want to go puke. I can't believe I ate 3 eggs and three turkey dogs. That's SO MUCH food! I don't understand how people can eat two or three times that in a sitting. I can't believe I ever did!
Is this taking me over instead of me using it? Is that the kind of thinking that comes when the eating takes over instead of me making the decisions?
Can't seem to stop.
I've had maybe 700 calories today and all but about 70 of those in the last couple of hours. I just want to be sick. I hurt SO much.
I've gone to a gastrointerologist and he didn't see anything so he is putting all the pain in my system to PTSD. But it is through my WHOLE system. I am seeing a specialist for the bottom half of the digestive track in December. Meanwhile, I am tired of hurting and I just want to go back to not eating for a couple of days.
I stopped losing weight. I guess cuz my body was starving. I take a prenatal (prescription) to try and counteract everything (the malnourishment) but me, with my oily skin that keeps my hair so shiny and me looking SO young that a week from my 33rd birthday people STILL think I look like a teenager, me? I have dandruff for the first time in my life and my hair has gotten so brittle. I bought moisturizing and anti-breakage hair products... still...
I love to exercise. Before I got PTSD I just exercised. Now, I'm so damn weak. I think I may be binging because I am SO DETERMINED to work on my muscles. Tired of watching them hang there and flop around and not being able to lift things. I was always a tomboy and stronger than my brothers, and most of the other guys, and now I'm all fat and jiggly and loose skinned.
I could go another 45 lbs before I would be getting "skinny." I'm only 5'3" and all this binging... I can't get on the scale. I gained 2 lbs. ACK! Well, last I looked I was 145 lbs. I could get to 100 and it would be okay. But I struggle to eat a normal days calories and why should I? I'm sedentary now. The PTSD made me agoraphobic (and now this), so I don't GO anywhere. If my house weren't 3 stories, I'd get NO exercise. *sigh*
First time I felt compelled to post in here. I just want to go puke. I can't believe I ate 3 eggs and three turkey dogs. That's SO MUCH food! I don't understand how people can eat two or three times that in a sitting. I can't believe I ever did!
Is this taking me over instead of me using it? Is that the kind of thinking that comes when the eating takes over instead of me making the decisions?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Now I'm all binging and I avoid the scale. I had to *make* myself get on the scale. I hit 145.8 from a straight 143.0. When I see that, it makes me want to go starve again. *sigh*
I was trying to eat more often, you know, 4 or 5 small meals. Instead it lead to this mass binge. I don't how much is PTSD, maybe actually becoming full on anorexic and/or the fact that I hurt SO Much throughout my digestive track. The doctor found a bacterial infection in August and treated it. I stopped eating right after I saw her and while I was taking the 3 horse pills (antibiotics) plus an antacid, my PTSD meds and a vitamin. Taking all that twice a day (at least for the meds) just filled my stomach and it hurt. So, I stopped eating in general.
It was only after awhile that I started drinking hot teas with nondairy creamers. They would soothe the burning sensation with all that creamer.
I "told" myself I was doing it because I just needed to control something, ANYthing and I could control my food intake. Is that how it starts?
Then I was on the scale 3 or 4 times in a row first thing in the morning (when we're lightest) and again at night (to see how I had lost weight in the day or predict what the scale would say in the morning) and then I was still weighing as many as 5 more times in between. That's up to 13 times in a day, maybe more?
So, is that what it looks like when the sickness takes over?
It is amazing how logic goes out the window when it comes to your own mind.
I got SO sick from trying to eat junk food/high calorie foods. My body got the shakes and so ill.
Connie, do you think that's the PTSD being aggravated?