I was at the gym today, doing my usual cardio. A really slender girl got on the treadmill next to me. Suddenly I felt like jaba the hut--short, fat and disgusting--no matter how much I work out and eat healthy, I will always be chunky. I can't believe that sometimes I think I'm ok looking--who the hell do I think I am??? My therapist and dietician tell me that this is the weight that my body wants to be at--it makes me sick to hear that--I refuse to accept that this is what I'm supposed to look like. I feel gross b/c I can't exercise any more than I already do, and I can't cut back on my meal plan. Instead of feeling good, I felt even worse and I'm peeved for comparing myself to someone else.
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