So after a pretty awful weekend (horrible fb tag, death of a friend back home, and various other things), I broke down. I went to my endocrinology appointment on Monday morning sobbing and told the nurse I was in so much emotional pain that I wanted to kill myself. It was true, although I didn't have a plan or anything like that. Nevertheless I went sent to a mental health clinic for a few days, I was really angry at first because I was afraid of missing work and was ranting to my friend all while I was waiting in the ER to be taken over, and my friend (never mincing words) basically told me that I need treatment and to focus on myself and everything else will fall into place. Grudgingly I took his advice, and spent the next two days participating in group and individual therapy, meeting with a psychiatrist, and just taking some time to think about what I really need, which is, in a word, support. I was discharged yesterday with some really good suggestions, and my counselor who I met with today had a couple more that I've already started actively pursuing. Work yesterday evening went well (yes I did go in lol), they had all been really concerned about me, which was really a shock... it's a nice feeling to know people care, isn't it? My parents were also really concerned but relieved that I got help. I know I still have problems I need to deal with, but I feel a lot better knowing that a) I have resources with which to deal with them, and b) that I still have the desire to live! I could've just kept my mouth shut at the medical office and let it progress to the point where I did make a plan. But I didn't... that gives me hope above all.
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