Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Warning, I'm using numbers in this one because it's harder to understand if I don't.
Long story short, I went into the doc's 1 1/2 weeks ago and they said I lost 3 pounds - I was at 103 [I'm 16 and only 5'2" - that's a perfectly healthy weight for me]. So I went and tried to gain it back. Few days later I went to my therapist and she weighed me and said I was 107 - one pound more than my norm. I did not, not, not eat enough to gain 4 pounds in just 3 days. Turns out the doc's scale was wrong and I had not lost, I'd maintained. And while I thought I dropped and tried to gain, I'd gone a pound higher than my normal, healthy 105-6 pounds. So I stopped eating more and went back to my regular amount - not trying to lose any weight cause 107 was fine with me too if I was already there.
I went back to my therapist today and got weighed - she was worried because I'd 'dropped' 1.5 pounds [not at all purposefully, I honestly don't know how that happened in 2 1/2 days]. Now she wants me back up to 107, but I disagree. I say this: Why be worried that I'm at 105 when that's exactly where I was at a couple weeks ago, and perfectly healthy and fine? Why can't I just maintain it? There isn't a need for me to gain and originally it was a mistake in the first place, so really I'm only back where I was in the first place.
I don't plan on gaining back to 107 again, I plan on staying within 105, 106 by maintaining.
That's legit; I'm right, am I not? I'd like opinions.
Long story short, I went into the doc's 1 1/2 weeks ago and they said I lost 3 pounds - I was at 103 [I'm 16 and only 5'2" - that's a perfectly healthy weight for me]. So I went and tried to gain it back. Few days later I went to my therapist and she weighed me and said I was 107 - one pound more than my norm. I did not, not, not eat enough to gain 4 pounds in just 3 days. Turns out the doc's scale was wrong and I had not lost, I'd maintained. And while I thought I dropped and tried to gain, I'd gone a pound higher than my normal, healthy 105-6 pounds. So I stopped eating more and went back to my regular amount - not trying to lose any weight cause 107 was fine with me too if I was already there.
I went back to my therapist today and got weighed - she was worried because I'd 'dropped' 1.5 pounds [not at all purposefully, I honestly don't know how that happened in 2 1/2 days]. Now she wants me back up to 107, but I disagree. I say this: Why be worried that I'm at 105 when that's exactly where I was at a couple weeks ago, and perfectly healthy and fine? Why can't I just maintain it? There isn't a need for me to gain and originally it was a mistake in the first place, so really I'm only back where I was in the first place.
I don't plan on gaining back to 107 again, I plan on staying within 105, 106 by maintaining.
That's legit; I'm right, am I not? I'd like opinions.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I am sure some people will be upset about you mentioning numbers, so maybe try to stay away from specifics next time.....again I wish you the best...
Further more, weight on a scale isn't just from calories turned into fat or muscle, fluid excess can cause the scales to shift too. Are they weighing you at the exact same time of day, with the exact same clothing on (you should be in a johnnie), after peeing?
I can see them keeping an eye on you, but there are certainly other reasons for a loss of 1.5lbs. Unless you are steadily dropping...then it is a different story.
You also might want to investigate why you're fighting two pounds so much. Because that attitude isn't perfectly healthy and fine. Just...think about it.
With love,
Laura
So really there hasn't been an actual weight shift or need to gain again. I just wanted to see what others thought of it as well.
[I hope no one's upset about the numbers. I wrote this once without them and it was very confusing.]
And also - another question! I realized a moment ago that when I'm eating alone and become full, I can deal with a small temptation to try and purge... but when I'm around people, that urge becomes so much more powerful.
Tips, advice, similar experiences?
but I want to hear from others so I know for sure it's not just ED talking through me and that my "case" is reasonable so I can explain it to my therapist so she hopefully won't expect me to still gain unnecessarily? I'd rather focus on maintaining and eating normally, not revolving my days around limited exercise and additional food, and thoughts of food food food; I'm trying to get better here, yano?
And by the way, please don't mention numbers. You can do that in your journal and ask people to read it. Numbers are a huge trigger as I'm sure you know.
The only reason I'm "obsessive" about the scales is because everyone else demands that I be. I have to make sure I don't drop an ounce or I'll have a team of people threatening to have me gain pounds again or IP. I can't not watch it. I sound like I'm throwing the blame to them, but they're the ones who can't let go. I understand that they've got to keep an eye on my weight, but even the tiniest fluctuation sets them off - even my therapist said, at the same time she was concerned because I'd gone back to my maintaining weight, that I will fluctuate and it's natural and totally fine.
I don't want to go by numbers anymore, just by how I look and feel. I'd be more than happy to toss the scales altogether if they weren't such sticklers about my weight still.
take care hun and good luck
Morgaine