I hate feelings, why do I have to feel? I am so frustrated right now and sad, disappointed, confused, angry, just everything. I want to get a job, and my self-confidence level is not great. I am afraid of failing and that noone will hire me. I am afraid that I am not good enough b/c I do not know everything I think should. I understand I am a new grad and knowledge comes with experience but I still feel like I need to know more. I am frustrated that I cannot seem to get myself organized and that life is such a struggle on a daily basis. I have a tendency to ignore any feelings and noone ever knows what I feel. I have a flat affect and usually I do ot expereince feelings... except for rght now b/c I am trying NOT to purge or use other supressing ED methods. I can't share my feelings with others b/c my family does not get feelings I call them emotionally constipated. I can't tell my friends b/c I don't want to burden them with my internal issues. I always help my friends and give them advice, I am the "go to person" but there issues are more real it seems like. I want to scream I AM NOT going to purge, I have almost made it 6 days w/o purging and I am NOT going to screw up!
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