Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I've just turned 29 and have been battling ED for 10 years now.
It's suddenly hit me that im no longer a bright young thing, that ive wasted the best years of my life waiting to become beautiful. I bought into the myth that if i try hard enough i can become beautiful and then everything will be ok. Ive spent the last five years sat at home trying to become thin enough so that i can go out and have fun, because of course only beautiful people deserve to have fun. Now, im nearly 30 the wrinkles have started and i will never be that beautiful young thing ive been waiting to become.
I'm overwhelmed by the sadness of what ive done to myself yet still i cant let go of the idea that if i get thin then it will all be ok (but of course even when i was very underweight i still felt ugly). I wish i could shake off this self pity and get on with the rest of my life but i cant, im stuck in my own head. Its like my weight obession has been changed into an obession with youth and i hate myself for my self indulgence.
I wish i could help other girls realise how youth and life in itself is so beautiful, that it cannot be bought or created. Life is in the moment, dont wait. Yet all i can think about is that its too late for me.
It's suddenly hit me that im no longer a bright young thing, that ive wasted the best years of my life waiting to become beautiful. I bought into the myth that if i try hard enough i can become beautiful and then everything will be ok. Ive spent the last five years sat at home trying to become thin enough so that i can go out and have fun, because of course only beautiful people deserve to have fun. Now, im nearly 30 the wrinkles have started and i will never be that beautiful young thing ive been waiting to become.
I'm overwhelmed by the sadness of what ive done to myself yet still i cant let go of the idea that if i get thin then it will all be ok (but of course even when i was very underweight i still felt ugly). I wish i could shake off this self pity and get on with the rest of my life but i cant, im stuck in my own head. Its like my weight obession has been changed into an obession with youth and i hate myself for my self indulgence.
I wish i could help other girls realise how youth and life in itself is so beautiful, that it cannot be bought or created. Life is in the moment, dont wait. Yet all i can think about is that its too late for me.
-
Here's a survey of where your MS has been and where it is now. A.) Type of MS and year of DX, (or no dx)B.) On a scale of 1 - 10 with 1 being so few symptoms that it does not affect your life at all to 10, you are unable to get out of bed and need 100% care what is the worst (you have BEEN with your MS "EVER."C.). On a scale of 1 - 10, (same thing), but where you are at (at this point in your...
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
30 is NOT that old!
In my neverending quest for beauty, my dad once told me, "a smile is beautiful".
He is right. Happiness is the most beautiful and attractive thing in the world. We ALL deserve it and can achieve it.
Don't give up!! I've got wrinkles around my eyes...but I know they are from smiling so much. I hope for lots more!
xxx J
i try to deal with them by reminding myself that the best is yet to come. the more i heal, the healthier i become, the more positive and beautiful my future will be.
it's not too late-it is only the beginning :o)
I am 52 years old & I have battled this demon for decades!
I regret it so much - yet, I continue to indulge myself in the starvation/numbness.
I think it's an obsession when we feel things are out of control.
I know it is my drug of choice.
Now, I feel so lost. I am trying desperately to convince myself that 52 is the new 42??? lol!
And, I am trying to make myself recover so I can attempt nursing school or cake decorating classes - or something!
But, face it, I am now older. And, I have done damage that cannot be corrected inside my body.
I SINCERELY HOPE & PRAY THAT IF ANY OF YOU ARE OUT THERE GIVING INTO THIS ILLNESS & WANTING TO GET WELL - IF THERE IS ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD I CAN SAY OR DO TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE - IF I KNEW WHAT TO SAY, I WOULD SAY IT!
I URGE YOU TO DO ANYTHING YOU MUST DO TO GET WELL!
Time flies by so fast. Dreams die.
As years go by, we convince ourselves we are "content" being isolated within these prison walls being held captive by ed.
Please help yourself now. For you, & for those you love!
I am getting 2 more teeth pulled this next week. (6 in all recently) I have counseling that is not helping me with a student who has never treated ED. My retina's in my eyes have degenerated to the point that I am legally blind. I am in severe pain from degenerated spine - upper cervical & lower lumbar & mid region spondylosis. I cannot use the bathroom, but I don't discuss that. My bones are weak. I have no muscles - they atrophied because I cannot exercise like I did when I was younger. My skin is wrecked, the list continues on....
And, now, here I am - ALL I W ANT TO DO IS LIVE! I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF MY LIFE!
But, now, my parents are sick & elderly & I must care for them. My husband suffers from neglect.
I used to be a cheerleader, roller skated every night, jogged, worked out at a fitness center, played on a tennis team, etc.....
Now I am basically bedridden, but I keep a smile on my face & giggle lot. I refuse to bring my family down with my stupid illness.
Last, & worse - I blame myself. But, I have negative feelings about my own parents because they hated it when I gained any weight!
WHY DID I CARE??????
SORRY SO LONG...I GUESS I NEEDED TO TALK? RANT IS MORE LIKE IT!
I just wish I could get thru to even one person out there before you do what I have done!
LUV YOU GUYS!
Seriously, you have your whole life ahead of you.
Most of you are all just getting started on life.
Please forgive me if my last post seemed negative, ok? But, I am about to give up hope. I have seriously tried everything.
No, I don't mean suicide or anything like that! (I know the first thought that comes to your minds)
I am tired of crying.
I am crying right now.
And, I just want to help you!
I might add that above I did not even mention that I have had heart problems for a few years, too. I hate talking about it. I am so ashamed of what I have done to myself. I had a nuclear scan that showed problems 5 years ago. Then, I walked around for month with a heart monitor. Then, they did a heart catheterization. My heart is abnormal, but they cannot pinpoint the problem & chalked it up to my anorexia for many years off & on probably wearing down my heart muscle?
If you met me - you would think I was always happy cheerful. Even my new counselor who is a med school student asked me why I am always smiling & upbeat? She said it does not fit the typical anorexia patient.
And, if any of you have parents bringing you down or making the least little comments about your body - DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM!
You can love your parents without trying to spend your life pleasing them!
I never could please my parents. I still don't.
Love yourself!
Love your hubby's.
Love those kids! That is the only thing I am proud of in my life is my 3 kids - 2 grown daughters & my darling 17 year old son.
(Oh, and my little doggy, Kelly - my best friend)
I'm done.
Gentle Hugs!
i want to come and hug you, we can do this you know it is not too late!
p.s. i've just developed a heart murmer - i'm getting it investigated next month