Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Absolutely petrified.

deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't normally post discussions about my fears, but this one is really scaring me.

So, on Tuesday, instead of spending just one meal with my family and grandma in a safe environment, I am going with my in-laws to Puerta Vallarta, MX for a WEEK of Thanksgiving. The food is going to be in huge portions, I'm sure, and I can't purge anything. If I restrict, I'll be watched like a hawk. And I don't know really what kind of food there is- so I feel completely out of control. What if there is no veggies that aren't swimming in butter? What if everything is swimming in drippings and oils and grease and grossness?

We're expected to go swimming, and I'm very embarrassed to wear a swim suit. Should I just go in tanktop and shorts, or would that be too weird?

To everyone else, this would be a fun vacation, but for me, I'm petrified I will gain weight, have to eat, can't purge, etc etc. Also, I don't know what the plan is, so I feel out of control- what are we doing? How much energy will I have to expend? Are we going anywhere far away, or are we just lazying about? Do I have to do all the activities they've planned? All these thoughts run through my head, and I've even wanted to just cancel at the last second and say that someone else could have my ticket because I'm too scared. I agreed to this trip way back when I was in treatment in April... before my relapse in June. But now I'm like a frightened little animal, and feel trapped.

Does anyone know of any positive coping mechanisms when on the road or travelling with people when it comes to food and emotions? Anything?!
deleted_user
deleted_user
as far as coping mechanisms go, i dont have any. the last time i traveled, i slipped (as far as eating/recovery). The only thing i can say is that reading the post i did about an elevator analogy would probably help. You're going to be in a fight or flight situation, and (read the post) you NEED to fight.

Hang in there
-Debbie
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am very sick myself so obviously none of my coping mechanisms have worked. But maybe you can go on auto-pilot. Just pretend that you are not sick and you may end up having some fun. Hell, you have the rest of your life to be sick. I know that this may be counter-productive but what if you just reward yourself and allow yourself to have a good time. No one is really going to pay as much attention at the beach as you think. People with ED's including myself always seem to think that everyone is focused on them at all times.
I know that the eating may feel horrible but wouldn't it feel worse to get caught purging at a family gathering...
deleted_user
deleted_user
sweetie this is my frist time going to a holday with this and i am so scared to
im sorry i cant give u advic becuas im not sure eather
Juice
Juice
I don't know what to say that doiesn't sound like I'm passing on tips to strengthen the hold of the disorder. I always end up dropping out at the last minute or inventing an illness, so I know how much inner strength you're going to need to go on holiday. Can you look on it as a step towards recovery? Like a kind of health farm?
The way you feel trapped is all about not being able to control every tiny part of your day, and I know how panicked that can make you feel.
I'm thinking of you.
P.S. Apologies for any typoes, I've checked it twice cos I'm typing with gloves on as it's so blimmin cold in my study and I keep hittinh i&o and e&r at the same time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry anyone things this is a post that asks for tips to stay in my eating disorder. All I needed were some positive coping mechanisms while on this scary trip.

Thank you for all of your responses.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I did NOT get that from your post at all. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. What I see is that you are asking how to cope with body image issues and how to keep yourself from purging.
deleted_user
deleted_user
umm..this sounds scary for you...what I used to tell myself in that kind of situation is that I won't be out of control, but that I am taking a break from control...you are not going to be there forever and you will get to go home again....you even enjoy yourself...you never know...hope it works out ok..Jenny
LillyAudrey
LillyAudrey
I don't know if this will help, but in the past, when I've gone away on holidays etc, I allow all of me to be ON HOLIDAYS! Thats means I eat what I want (not too much), I drink what I want (not too much), I don't weigh myself, or even count calories, I just try to relax. I've usually found this to be so liberating, living just like a normal person... Like I said this might not be helpful to you, or it might even be too hard, but if you can, it makes for a really fun holiday :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just reading your post made me scared because I feel the same way whenever we go somewhere.
Tanktop and shorts sound fine to me. You can just "forget" to bring your swimming suit. As far as the food goes eat small portions. I assume they know about your ED so you don't even need to explain yourself. It is a good thing that you can't purge for a week. Maybe that could be a new chance to stop purging all together. And if you eat small portions you might not even have the urge. I can feel how much you fear being out of control and this might not be a healthy advice but I always bring my scale to have some kind of idea where I am. Don't do any activities you don't feel strong enough for. You don't want to pass out. Tell them you're not feeling well and rather stay at home. Tell them to have a fun time and you'll see them tonight when they get back.
Be strong and try to enjoy at least some of the time.
missyS
missyS
just know that they will have grocery stores there..so im sure that if the place ur staying doesnt have anything safe to eat, the store will....food aside, swimming is ur choice...just simply say no thank u u guys have fun...u dont have to swim...everyone else can still have their swimming fun even if u choose not to participate
deleted_user
deleted_user
The only thing that I have ever found that helps me anxiety is something my therapist taught me called Mindful Breathing. I've found that if I'm in full panic or just a bit stressed that this helps. You can do it anywhere at any time. I always though therapist tools were a crock but this one really works for me. What you do is simply inhale for 4 seconds and then exhale for 4 seconds and do it for 4 minuets. Make sure you are doing stomach breathing and not chest breathing. During this time try to clear your mind of all thoughts. Just concentrate on your breathing. My therapist use to have me put my hands on my stomach to insure that I was doing stomach breathing but you don't have to if you think that will be counter active. Sometimes she'd have me put a pillow between my stomach and my hands. It's just important that you're doing stomach breathing and not chest. But yeah the mindful breathing has really really helped me in the past and still does. It doesn't hurt to try. So in 4 sec. out 4 sec for 4 mins. stomach breathing rhythmically and steady. Let me know how it works for ya
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Lapetitem,
I can totally relate to feeling petrified...My hubby and I are going to Fiji in 3 weeks and although I am looking forward to the time away we are also having 3 nights with friends who have no idea about my ED...My counsellor is encouraging me to take it one day at a time which I am trying to do with varying degrees of success...I have also decided to email our friends in Fiji to let them know what is happening with me which has actually made me feel a little less anxious...Not sure if this helps...Just know that you are not alone in your feelings..
deleted_user
deleted_user
Missy is right. You do have choices and you're free to make them. How about board shorts for swimming? I think they're still in fashion for girls, I don't know. Just out of treatment myself I know how you feel, like all eyes are on you and you're in a fishbowl? God I hope this feeling goes away for the both of us! XOXO
Juice
Juice
Mornin. Just read the latest replies, and I can't see any trace of you asking for help to stay in your ed. I was reluctant at first to reply in case my reply reinforced it, and reworded it loads of times because it felt wrong. Sorry if it made you feel bad, I spose there's a fine line between offloading my own neurosis and confiding to make you feel you're not alone.
I do the Mindful Breathing thing,by the way, although at first I had a dum smile on my face while I did it and people thought I'd slipped into a trance. Now I can do it undercover, mostly in bus queues or supermarkets.
Thinking of you .....
deleted_user
deleted_user
im right there with you i went on two week trip and people noticed very fast as for thanksgiving im scared and nervous to
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