I am in a tough situation. I have an eating disorder but wont admit it to anyone. I had a lot of stomach issues growing up so i never ate to begin with but eventually they found something wrong with me and i got surgery. So my stomach issues can no longer be my excuse. I dont eat when i am alone which use to be all the time but now that summer has come my girlfriend has been staying with me and making me eat (She has no clue about my eating disorder) After my surgery it is impossible to throw up so i have been eating as little as possible but enough that she thinks i am eating regularly and i have put on some weight. Every time i look into the mirror i am disgusted. i can see where i am gaining weight and i do not like it. Being a transmale i am gainging wait in my chest and my stomach which is causing way more dysphoria than normal. I just dont know what i am suppose to do! i dont want her to find out but at the same time i dont want to gain weight. i am almost in tears every time i look in the mirror i feel disgusting.
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