I have been doing pretty good with not starving myself for awhile now and I still have urges yes but last night just sent me over the edge with not feeling sexy enough to "be" with my husband.. he is always rejecting me. I feel so ugly I want to give it all up right now and tell my ed forget it you win I will stop eating to get what I want. It may sound sick but I don't like being called average that pushes me to want to starve even more.. I want to be skinny and that I am not. I hate the scale... it has motivated me even more this morning. I feel like a failure. I don't want to give in but I am tired of fighting. Maybe if I do my husband would want me more..
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